Friday, October 19, 2007
little things..
okay, some of you might have heard this from me before..i shared this with the guys last sunday.. this happened to me like 2 weeks ago..
after catechism class, i went to my ex-guardian's house (which is opposite the church), and then after my guardian's house, i headed to the video ezy shop at parkway..
somehow after i left my guardian's house, i felt this sense of loneliness.. sometimes i feel like that for no reason.. i don't know if some of you do.. i think everyone feels like that at least once in their lifetime.. ; so anyway, this sense of loneliness.. and i walked to parkway.. and everything around me just felt so.. surreal.. like i'm walking for the sake of walking.. aimlessly.. i just know that i have to continue walking.. the day was really really bright.. and everything just seemed whiter than usual.. which perhaps makes it seem more like a dream.. i stood in the crowd, waiting for the traffic light to turn green..and standing in that crowd made me feel more dimunitive.. i was like nothingness. nobody knew i was there.. i could just slip away from this earth and no one would know that i was missing.. i looked at the crowd.. at their faces.. some of them were showing signs of happiness.. but were they really happy? some of them had blank faces.. what were they thinking? the children were so precocious.. how sad and wasted.. the adults....... i felt that i didn't want to be like them.. jaded..
so then i messaged my friend and told her how i felt.. like this sudden pang of loneliness.. and the surrealism that entails.. and instead of consoling me (or whatever it would take to bring me back to 'normalcy'), she started waxing lyrical about the storm. [ if you could recall, there was a sudden storm last last sunday. it was really SUDDEN. and heavy downpour at that too.]
she was saying, like how amazed she was that the water was gushing OUT of the drains instead on IN; how the visibility level is so bad, that she couldn't see the train arriving; how the train actually stopped 5 m away from the designated spot for the entrance.. etc.. and listening to her describing how amazed she was at such stuff, i was amused at her ability to appreciate the beauty at the little things in life, and that sense of loneliness just went away.. instead i looked around me, and i saw the world with a breath of freshness.. like every insignificant thing, is just so.. so.. beautiful! i felt that even the smallest things in life.. however insignificant they are.. they're god's creation.. the rain drops.. the wind.. they're just so.. perfect in their own little insignificant, unassuming way.. and i started to see the people around me, not just as people, walking bodies who are all homogeneous.. but i started to see them for their little uniqueness.. that they are god's little children, and they are there because god has made them, in that manner. I was BREATHING, because god made me, and he allowed me to breathe. i can feel, hear, touch, smell, taste.. because god made me that way, and I am god's little creation, and his gift for me. all i can say is, it felt AMAZING.
and after i felt like that, i just felt this sense of exuberance, this joy! that i wanted to share with the world.. that even though sometimes there are ugly things in life.. like misfortunes or accidents or whatnots, I should still be thankful and grateful for the things that I had or have, and not focus on the unhappy things.. but instead appreciate the beauty in everything.. even little things.. especially little things in life.. because once i start appreciating the little things. the bigger things would just be as wonderful..
i know this sounds a little.. zany.. like i'm high or what.. (you might think.. adeline is nuts. she's high on rain..) but understand that it is hard to express happiness in words.. melancholy is just so much easier to express.. but if i were to summarise how i felt, i would say i FELT colours. lot s and lots of vibrant colours. and everything around me were as beautiful as phosphenes.. (you know, like sometimes when you just woke up, and you see little little spectrums of light? haha this is hard to explain..)
francis has this book 'Anna and the black knight' by Fynn. i think he might be willing to lend you the book. i've not finished the book myself, but from what i've read, Anna is this little girl who sees the beauty in everything.. numbers, dirt, smells.. everything.. and the amazing part is that this beauty she sees, she sees god in them.. if you get what i mean.. "but adeline, you mean she sees god in dirt?!" think about it.. sometimes we are just so preoccupied with how things look..i feel that there's inherent beauty in everything.. we just need to look harder.. or perhaps, not look, but feel.. see the world with a childlike wonder and amazement.. and everything would just seem so beautiful.. and see that god made those things.. it's a warm feeling you'll get.. like a joie de vivre..
there's also another film which i've watched recently.. it's a french film called Amelie. i doubt many of you have watched it since it's not a new film and you guys are still underage.. (it's NC 16, even though there aren't any nude scenes or gore.) when you guys have to chance, catch the show.. it's also got to do with appreciating the little things in life we often take for granted, and seeing the fun and beauty in them.. but that aside, the film is really really good.
one last thing.. have you all heard of St therese of lisieux? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_de_Lisieux http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=105 my godmother showed me this dvd of her.. it was really sweet.. she saw the beauty in simple things, and she's known for her own "little way".. she wasn't a saint like Mother Theresa, who went to help alot of people.. but instead, St therese helped those around her.. in her own little way.. and i think that's something really.. amazing (i'm using so many 'amazing' in this post. sorry).. often we hear the priest talking about the poor, the sick bla bla.. why not start with those around you first? your friends, your family.. appreciate them.. they are there because god has a reason for making you your parents son, your siblings your siblings, and your friends your friends..think about it.. what might that reason be? maybe god gave you a gift, that he thought you could use?
okay, this is a really long post.. comments?
after catechism class, i went to my ex-guardian's house (which is opposite the church), and then after my guardian's house, i headed to the video ezy shop at parkway..
somehow after i left my guardian's house, i felt this sense of loneliness.. sometimes i feel like that for no reason.. i don't know if some of you do.. i think everyone feels like that at least once in their lifetime.. ; so anyway, this sense of loneliness.. and i walked to parkway.. and everything around me just felt so.. surreal.. like i'm walking for the sake of walking.. aimlessly.. i just know that i have to continue walking.. the day was really really bright.. and everything just seemed whiter than usual.. which perhaps makes it seem more like a dream.. i stood in the crowd, waiting for the traffic light to turn green..and standing in that crowd made me feel more dimunitive.. i was like nothingness. nobody knew i was there.. i could just slip away from this earth and no one would know that i was missing.. i looked at the crowd.. at their faces.. some of them were showing signs of happiness.. but were they really happy? some of them had blank faces.. what were they thinking? the children were so precocious.. how sad and wasted.. the adults....... i felt that i didn't want to be like them.. jaded..
so then i messaged my friend and told her how i felt.. like this sudden pang of loneliness.. and the surrealism that entails.. and instead of consoling me (or whatever it would take to bring me back to 'normalcy'), she started waxing lyrical about the storm. [ if you could recall, there was a sudden storm last last sunday. it was really SUDDEN. and heavy downpour at that too.]
she was saying, like how amazed she was that the water was gushing OUT of the drains instead on IN; how the visibility level is so bad, that she couldn't see the train arriving; how the train actually stopped 5 m away from the designated spot for the entrance.. etc.. and listening to her describing how amazed she was at such stuff, i was amused at her ability to appreciate the beauty at the little things in life, and that sense of loneliness just went away.. instead i looked around me, and i saw the world with a breath of freshness.. like every insignificant thing, is just so.. so.. beautiful! i felt that even the smallest things in life.. however insignificant they are.. they're god's creation.. the rain drops.. the wind.. they're just so.. perfect in their own little insignificant, unassuming way.. and i started to see the people around me, not just as people, walking bodies who are all homogeneous.. but i started to see them for their little uniqueness.. that they are god's little children, and they are there because god has made them, in that manner. I was BREATHING, because god made me, and he allowed me to breathe. i can feel, hear, touch, smell, taste.. because god made me that way, and I am god's little creation, and his gift for me. all i can say is, it felt AMAZING.
and after i felt like that, i just felt this sense of exuberance, this joy! that i wanted to share with the world.. that even though sometimes there are ugly things in life.. like misfortunes or accidents or whatnots, I should still be thankful and grateful for the things that I had or have, and not focus on the unhappy things.. but instead appreciate the beauty in everything.. even little things.. especially little things in life.. because once i start appreciating the little things. the bigger things would just be as wonderful..
i know this sounds a little.. zany.. like i'm high or what.. (you might think.. adeline is nuts. she's high on rain..) but understand that it is hard to express happiness in words.. melancholy is just so much easier to express.. but if i were to summarise how i felt, i would say i FELT colours. lot s and lots of vibrant colours. and everything around me were as beautiful as phosphenes.. (you know, like sometimes when you just woke up, and you see little little spectrums of light? haha this is hard to explain..)
francis has this book 'Anna and the black knight' by Fynn. i think he might be willing to lend you the book. i've not finished the book myself, but from what i've read, Anna is this little girl who sees the beauty in everything.. numbers, dirt, smells.. everything.. and the amazing part is that this beauty she sees, she sees god in them.. if you get what i mean.. "but adeline, you mean she sees god in dirt?!" think about it.. sometimes we are just so preoccupied with how things look..i feel that there's inherent beauty in everything.. we just need to look harder.. or perhaps, not look, but feel.. see the world with a childlike wonder and amazement.. and everything would just seem so beautiful.. and see that god made those things.. it's a warm feeling you'll get.. like a joie de vivre..
there's also another film which i've watched recently.. it's a french film called Amelie. i doubt many of you have watched it since it's not a new film and you guys are still underage.. (it's NC 16, even though there aren't any nude scenes or gore.) when you guys have to chance, catch the show.. it's also got to do with appreciating the little things in life we often take for granted, and seeing the fun and beauty in them.. but that aside, the film is really really good.
one last thing.. have you all heard of St therese of lisieux? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Th%C3%A9r%C3%A8se_de_Lisieux http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=105 my godmother showed me this dvd of her.. it was really sweet.. she saw the beauty in simple things, and she's known for her own "little way".. she wasn't a saint like Mother Theresa, who went to help alot of people.. but instead, St therese helped those around her.. in her own little way.. and i think that's something really.. amazing (i'm using so many 'amazing' in this post. sorry).. often we hear the priest talking about the poor, the sick bla bla.. why not start with those around you first? your friends, your family.. appreciate them.. they are there because god has a reason for making you your parents son, your siblings your siblings, and your friends your friends..think about it.. what might that reason be? maybe god gave you a gift, that he thought you could use?
okay, this is a really long post.. comments?
1:00 PM
My Garden
A class of youth, struggling to place themselves in a future that seems too distant and alien.
Sometimes, plants grow
And so, we look back
October 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
August 2008
October 2008
Thinking of the present
Rules for Writing.
1. Please include your name, because as much as we like to pretend we are psychic, we are not.
2. Please do not erase anything from the former posts especially those not written by you. This is rude, people.
3. Please write with seemingly objective views. I say seemingly because sometimes, subtlty works too. (:
Telling our friends
That we thank them
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