hey all. haha lemme just divert from the subject for a while.. did you know the meaning of the root word of apology is not 'sorry', but actually 'to defend oneself'. but anyhoos, i'm sorry for not updating this blog often enough.. thanks so much steph, for everything you've done!

anyways, i'm now back in indonesia, and will only be returning to singapore on the 11th.. tentatively la huh.. my friend wants me back by the 3rd to celebrate her birthday with her.. but i am still contactable online and via sms or anything.. that is if you all need me.. i feel so.. unneeded.. and it depresses me so..... haha nah, i'm okay with being unneeded.. but just to let you all know, if you ever need help or whatever.. just shout. like for example, if you need a mahjong kaki. just call me. pronto. haha. just kidding. you guys should know what i mean.. hmm for starters, i dont give advice per se. i dont see the point of me giving you my opinions on what YOU should be doing because ultimately no one but yourself can fit in your shoes. plus, i trust that most of you are matured enough to know what you should be doing. but what i normally do is to just share my own experience.. if i have experience in that problem that you're encountering that is.. if not i can gladly ask my friends to share.. hmm frankly speaking, i dont know if that is actually the best method.. what do you think?

haha and regarding steph's "adeline's gonna kill me...". YUP STEPH. I AM SO GONNA KILL YOU. yea right. nope, i'm happy that you've experienced something..truthfully speaking, cat class for me was pretty much like yours. i found it boring and very very very unfulfilling.. i didnt see a need for me to go to class. because for me, i always thought my catechists asked simple direct questions which was like 'duh!'. as a result, i skipped alot of cat class, and even missed my last con camp.. which then resulted in my catechist sending me to see father aloy. hahaha. but that said, i really dont think that you guys should miss cat class. from what i've gone through, i'd have to agree with steph.. con class doesnt do anything to strengthen your faith. i mean what is sitting there for one hour plus plus plus listening to us droning on and on about good and evil and god and religion going to do to anybody besides putting them to sleep?!? it's like sunday morning lullaby. right? wrong. walk away from cat class with more questions. really, please do.

cat class for me was like.. airy fairy mambo jumbo. but i felt that after my cat class, after i started attending your cat classes, i began to ask more questions and so on, then did i start to.. feel more... christian... for example, when my catechist asked us who was jesus? i probably would have given the answer " my best friend". standard, politically correct answer. right? yay. full marks for myself. guess what. i was wrong. if jesus was really my bestest of best friends, or as some ppl like to put it, BFF, then was i really treating him as a BFF? do i talk to him about everything? do i tell him all my troubles? or more importantly, DO I LISTEN TO HIM? DO YOU? start asking yourselves this question.. as for me... now i'm not so sure who jesus really is.. sometimes he's my BFF. sometimes he's just plain irritating. he gets in the way of me having fun. really . the guilt and the conscience just eats into you.. and sometimes i lament.. its so hard being a christian..action is a sin, inaction is also a sin. so what in the world does jesus/god expect from me??!!! and on those days, you just wanna be alone in your thoughts.. or maybe, you can just call your YF. heehee.

anyways, lemme just share a quick one, then i'm off to sleep. it was pouring really heavily at 4 pm yesterday, and my friend was coming by my house to pick me up so that we can head to the airport together. and as i exited the side gate, i realised that there was no way i can reach the car without getting drenched. so it was just nice that one of the estate cleaners was entering the side gate, and he had an umbrella in his hand. so then i asked him,'sir, could you lend me your umbrella for a while while i load my luggages in the car?' and he said okay. and it was seriously raining very very very heavily. the car was like less than 5 metres away, and yet under that umbrella, i was drenched while lugging my baggage to the car. and the cleaner man saw that i needed the umbrella more than him, and he gladly offered me to keep the umbrella for myself, and he just walked away without wanting to accept anything in return. i found that particularly sweet.. because just by that simple act of giving something to someone more needy, is just so.. beautiful..and it really made my day. imagine what that umbrella must've meant to him. i mean i dont think he earns alot..and yet to just give away an umbrella just like. that. is just..whoa. haha to quote what izzy said in grey's anatomy, 'cos that's what jesus would do'. it's that time of the year again. it's CHRISTMAS! yayness! more presents. and more and more and more presents! would you like to be jesus? could you be like jesus? does it feel nice to be jesus? who is jesus anyway. go figure. then please please write a lil something something. even if if is just something like "jesus was a man". just let me know what you think. okay i think i've rambled again. bye bye and enjoy your christmas and make other's christmas enjoyable too! spread the love.

love, adeline.

3:31 AM

Monday, December 17, 2007

I could sing of your love.